Post by Austin Hayes on May 15, 2009 14:10:30 GMT -5
(The scene opens with Austin Hayes sitting in a dressing room at a gym. He is sitting there unwrapping tape from his hands and wrists. He notices the camera and looks straight up into it with a smirk on his face.)
"The Complex Killer" Austin Hayes - Man, Warren, that sure was a funny display. I have a few pointers for you before you attempt something like that again, though. First of all, the boom mic was hanging in the shot. The first rule of trying to put on a REAL fight is to make sure it's believeable. Seriously. It's hanging right there in the middle of the shot. What did you do, hire a midget to hold it? I mean, you have got to be one of the dumbest people in KWF. Seriously. Wake up and look in the mirror, Warren.
Then, the guy looked right at you, and you nodded at him. You beat him up, and he fell down. I have seen Chuck Norris movies that have better acting in them. And believe me, that's not saying a whole lot there, sport. You could have at least made it realistic and had him talk smack. Or be a jerk. OR SOMETHING. Why would anyone just walk up to you and pick a fight? Maybe because you are a retard who has to dream up scenarios in your head of fights you can actually win! Jesus, Warren, the more I think about it, the more likely it will be that I will beat you around that ring like a red headed step child.
You see, Warren, your threats have more questions in them than a day at the zoo with a six year old. How do you plan on beating me if you can't even stage a fake fight and make it at least halfway appear to be real? I mean seriously. You worked hard to put something together that was, well, half-assed at best. I don't do things half-assed, Warren. Nor do I take it easy on my opponents just because I feel sorry for them. To be honest, I don't even feel sorry for you at all. People like you make me laugh. People who think they have honed their craft and are monsters of the business, when in reality, you are just another poor schmuck who has too little talent, and too much time to run their mouth.
I can't even call you the WAR MONSTER without literally falling over laughing my ass off. Are you serious? I hope not. I am hoping that deep down inside you know that you are not a monster at all. You are a scared little boy hiding behind your size. I don't care how big you are, Warren. Big and stupid is a bad combination, even for you. This week, on Assault, I am going to show you why you are on your way out, and why Austin Hayes is a force to be reckoned with here in KWF. Your dreams of greatness and dilusions of granduer are just another chink in your mighty armor, Warren. You ARE on notice, and this week, after I am through with you on Assault, you will be done for. Nobody cares about you, and nobody cares what happens to you. Let this be a lesson; never let your personal feelings outweigh common sense. It isn't likely to be pretty in the end.
So, with all that said, I want you to do something for me. This is my debut match, and I want you to at least put up a little bit of a fight. I want you to put up a struggle. I want you to give it everything you have. That way, when all is said and done, and I leave you lying in a pool of your own blood and tears, I look that much more impressive. Not that I need it, really. It's more to make you look like you are at least a decent opponent so these management guys keep booking you. Otherwise, they could just give you the old pink slip, and send you packing. Which, in all honesty, is what I would do anyway.
So, get ready, Warren, because the beating you are going to take will be epic. The punishment I am going to dish out is going to be monumental, and your career as you know it, will be done and over with. consider yourself lucky to be breathing right now, because as of Saturday night, it's going to be a lot more difficult.
(The Complex Killer gets up and walks off as the camera fades to black to the sound of him laughing.)
"The Complex Killer" Austin Hayes - Man, Warren, that sure was a funny display. I have a few pointers for you before you attempt something like that again, though. First of all, the boom mic was hanging in the shot. The first rule of trying to put on a REAL fight is to make sure it's believeable. Seriously. It's hanging right there in the middle of the shot. What did you do, hire a midget to hold it? I mean, you have got to be one of the dumbest people in KWF. Seriously. Wake up and look in the mirror, Warren.
Then, the guy looked right at you, and you nodded at him. You beat him up, and he fell down. I have seen Chuck Norris movies that have better acting in them. And believe me, that's not saying a whole lot there, sport. You could have at least made it realistic and had him talk smack. Or be a jerk. OR SOMETHING. Why would anyone just walk up to you and pick a fight? Maybe because you are a retard who has to dream up scenarios in your head of fights you can actually win! Jesus, Warren, the more I think about it, the more likely it will be that I will beat you around that ring like a red headed step child.
You see, Warren, your threats have more questions in them than a day at the zoo with a six year old. How do you plan on beating me if you can't even stage a fake fight and make it at least halfway appear to be real? I mean seriously. You worked hard to put something together that was, well, half-assed at best. I don't do things half-assed, Warren. Nor do I take it easy on my opponents just because I feel sorry for them. To be honest, I don't even feel sorry for you at all. People like you make me laugh. People who think they have honed their craft and are monsters of the business, when in reality, you are just another poor schmuck who has too little talent, and too much time to run their mouth.
I can't even call you the WAR MONSTER without literally falling over laughing my ass off. Are you serious? I hope not. I am hoping that deep down inside you know that you are not a monster at all. You are a scared little boy hiding behind your size. I don't care how big you are, Warren. Big and stupid is a bad combination, even for you. This week, on Assault, I am going to show you why you are on your way out, and why Austin Hayes is a force to be reckoned with here in KWF. Your dreams of greatness and dilusions of granduer are just another chink in your mighty armor, Warren. You ARE on notice, and this week, after I am through with you on Assault, you will be done for. Nobody cares about you, and nobody cares what happens to you. Let this be a lesson; never let your personal feelings outweigh common sense. It isn't likely to be pretty in the end.
So, with all that said, I want you to do something for me. This is my debut match, and I want you to at least put up a little bit of a fight. I want you to put up a struggle. I want you to give it everything you have. That way, when all is said and done, and I leave you lying in a pool of your own blood and tears, I look that much more impressive. Not that I need it, really. It's more to make you look like you are at least a decent opponent so these management guys keep booking you. Otherwise, they could just give you the old pink slip, and send you packing. Which, in all honesty, is what I would do anyway.
So, get ready, Warren, because the beating you are going to take will be epic. The punishment I am going to dish out is going to be monumental, and your career as you know it, will be done and over with. consider yourself lucky to be breathing right now, because as of Saturday night, it's going to be a lot more difficult.
(The Complex Killer gets up and walks off as the camera fades to black to the sound of him laughing.)