Post by Joe Bassman on Apr 23, 2009 8:34:17 GMT -5
:: The Scene begins the camera pans an old western saloon. A playing piano scrolls out "The Entertainer" as patrons sip their drinks. One poker game is going on the biggest table in the room. Things are tense. Close ups of eyes looking around the table. Finally, the hands are shown. The biggest and gruffest man of them all stands up and turns the table. He pulls out a gun and cocks and points it at the obvious winner of the poker game. ::
Gruff Man: "You've cheated your last game partner!"
:: The gun is suddenly shot out of the man's hand and someone steps through the swinging doors. He's wearing a bright golden badge on his chest and has a smoking revolver in his right hand. His hat is white, and his clothes, blue denim. As the camera pans up his body, we see it's Cotton-Eyed Joe. ::
Sheriff Joe: "That'll be enough of that Jake."
Jake (Gruff Man): "This ain't none of your business Sheriff! Ever since you came to this town, cheats like this one-eyed pole-cat runn wild and free!"
Sheriff Joe: "It's not for you to say who's a cheat. It's for the law to say."
Jake: "My gun's broke Sheriff! I'd challenge you to a duel right now if it wasn't!"
Sheriff Joe: "Don't let that stop you. I bet our bartender has a fiddle back there. I hear you're a right good fiddle player Jake."
Jake: "That's the truth. What'd you have in mind?"
Sheriff Joe: "Miss Polly?"
:: We see Joe's girlfriend, Charlene come out from behind the bar wearing peacock feathers and gloves like a typical wild west show girl. ::
Ms. Polly (Charlene): "Yes Sheriff?"
Sheriff Joe: "Get me a guitar. We're gonna settle this with a different kind of duel!"
:: We hear a crowd erupt and the camera zooms out to show this is all inside a dinner theater. People are watching the show as Joe and the other actor tune up their instruments. An MC picks up the mic to hype the crowd and they begin. Joe and the man have a good battle. But in the end, Joe wins out hands down with some amazing guitar licks. The bad guy comically falls over and that's the end of the show. The actors head off for the night.
A little later, we see Charlene and Joe coming out of the Dinner theater holding each others hands. They walk into a small, local theme park. ::
Charlene: "Joe, that was right nice of you to volunteer us for that show. That man had some food poisoning or somethin' I reckon!"
Joe: "Tain't Nuthin' Charlene! It was kind of fun! Now how'd you like one of them teddy bears that I win by throwin' the darts?"
Charlene: "I'll tell you what I'd like more."
Joe: "What?"
Charlene: "You to come away from Assault Saturday as a big winner! I want to see you dominate those two losers!"
Joe: "Charlene, they're both huge! You've seen em! I just hope I don't get sandwiched between them!"
Charlene: "They ain't that huge! And you can beat em anyday! Remember Big John MacBaer?"
Joe: "... Yeah. He scared the gravy out of me! Must have been 8 feet tall!"
Charlene: "And what'd you do to him when he made fun of you for liking me cause I'm your 3rd cousin-"
Joe: "Once removed!"
Charlene: *Laughs.* "Yeah. Once removed. And how about after that when he tried to touch me?"
Joe: "Why I got so red I took that two by four Daddy was using to build the porch and I wailed the tar out of that lilly-livered, one-eyed, woodchuck meltin', Jesus Hatin', Turtle Shakin'-
Charlene: "See how mad you're gettin'? That's what I want you to do to that monkey Tyler Lucas and that warlock Milo Holland!"
Joe: "Okay... Well what you want to do now?"
Charlene: "I'm tired Joe. And we still want to see the El Paso zoo tomorrow. Let's just go back to the hotel."
Joe: "Alright then. I know a short cut. Follow me Ms. Peacock!"
Charlene: *laughs.* "To the ends of the earth my Confederate Prince!"
:: The two walk through a dark stretch of the theme park. In between fun houses, and houses of mirrors, indoor racetracks, and a bar. As soon as the hotel is in site, a figure bursts from the shadows and tackles Joe. He stands up and swings at Charlene. She screams and swings her purse at him violently. He grabs the purse and wraps it around her neck choking her. Joe gets up and screams loudly running at the figure full force. The figure yanks the purse from Charlene and takes off running. Joe is about to go after him but Charlene is coughing hard and Joe tends to her. ::
Joe: "Are you okay?"
Charlene: "What happened?"
Joe: "Someone just took your purse."
:: A thrown knife pierces a telephone pole next to them. It has a note on it. Charlene gasps at the sound. Joe goes over and grabs it. The note reads- ::
You're next on my hit list. See you at assault Redneck.
:: Joe crumples up the note and throws it trying to figure out what to do. ::
Joe: "Way to help us camera guy!"
Camera guy: "You told me just to film and stay out of the way!"
Joe: "Shut up and turn it off!"
:: End RP with static as Joe puts his hand over the lens. ::
Gruff Man: "You've cheated your last game partner!"
:: The gun is suddenly shot out of the man's hand and someone steps through the swinging doors. He's wearing a bright golden badge on his chest and has a smoking revolver in his right hand. His hat is white, and his clothes, blue denim. As the camera pans up his body, we see it's Cotton-Eyed Joe. ::
Sheriff Joe: "That'll be enough of that Jake."
Jake (Gruff Man): "This ain't none of your business Sheriff! Ever since you came to this town, cheats like this one-eyed pole-cat runn wild and free!"
Sheriff Joe: "It's not for you to say who's a cheat. It's for the law to say."
Jake: "My gun's broke Sheriff! I'd challenge you to a duel right now if it wasn't!"
Sheriff Joe: "Don't let that stop you. I bet our bartender has a fiddle back there. I hear you're a right good fiddle player Jake."
Jake: "That's the truth. What'd you have in mind?"
Sheriff Joe: "Miss Polly?"
:: We see Joe's girlfriend, Charlene come out from behind the bar wearing peacock feathers and gloves like a typical wild west show girl. ::
Ms. Polly (Charlene): "Yes Sheriff?"
Sheriff Joe: "Get me a guitar. We're gonna settle this with a different kind of duel!"
:: We hear a crowd erupt and the camera zooms out to show this is all inside a dinner theater. People are watching the show as Joe and the other actor tune up their instruments. An MC picks up the mic to hype the crowd and they begin. Joe and the man have a good battle. But in the end, Joe wins out hands down with some amazing guitar licks. The bad guy comically falls over and that's the end of the show. The actors head off for the night.
A little later, we see Charlene and Joe coming out of the Dinner theater holding each others hands. They walk into a small, local theme park. ::
Charlene: "Joe, that was right nice of you to volunteer us for that show. That man had some food poisoning or somethin' I reckon!"
Joe: "Tain't Nuthin' Charlene! It was kind of fun! Now how'd you like one of them teddy bears that I win by throwin' the darts?"
Charlene: "I'll tell you what I'd like more."
Joe: "What?"
Charlene: "You to come away from Assault Saturday as a big winner! I want to see you dominate those two losers!"
Joe: "Charlene, they're both huge! You've seen em! I just hope I don't get sandwiched between them!"
Charlene: "They ain't that huge! And you can beat em anyday! Remember Big John MacBaer?"
Joe: "... Yeah. He scared the gravy out of me! Must have been 8 feet tall!"
Charlene: "And what'd you do to him when he made fun of you for liking me cause I'm your 3rd cousin-"
Joe: "Once removed!"
Charlene: *Laughs.* "Yeah. Once removed. And how about after that when he tried to touch me?"
Joe: "Why I got so red I took that two by four Daddy was using to build the porch and I wailed the tar out of that lilly-livered, one-eyed, woodchuck meltin', Jesus Hatin', Turtle Shakin'-
Charlene: "See how mad you're gettin'? That's what I want you to do to that monkey Tyler Lucas and that warlock Milo Holland!"
Joe: "Okay... Well what you want to do now?"
Charlene: "I'm tired Joe. And we still want to see the El Paso zoo tomorrow. Let's just go back to the hotel."
Joe: "Alright then. I know a short cut. Follow me Ms. Peacock!"
Charlene: *laughs.* "To the ends of the earth my Confederate Prince!"
:: The two walk through a dark stretch of the theme park. In between fun houses, and houses of mirrors, indoor racetracks, and a bar. As soon as the hotel is in site, a figure bursts from the shadows and tackles Joe. He stands up and swings at Charlene. She screams and swings her purse at him violently. He grabs the purse and wraps it around her neck choking her. Joe gets up and screams loudly running at the figure full force. The figure yanks the purse from Charlene and takes off running. Joe is about to go after him but Charlene is coughing hard and Joe tends to her. ::
Joe: "Are you okay?"
Charlene: "What happened?"
Joe: "Someone just took your purse."
:: A thrown knife pierces a telephone pole next to them. It has a note on it. Charlene gasps at the sound. Joe goes over and grabs it. The note reads- ::
You're next on my hit list. See you at assault Redneck.
:: Joe crumples up the note and throws it trying to figure out what to do. ::
Joe: "Way to help us camera guy!"
Camera guy: "You told me just to film and stay out of the way!"
Joe: "Shut up and turn it off!"
:: End RP with static as Joe puts his hand over the lens. ::